Heal
by Nameless Sky
Summary: "Wish. Wish upon a star and hope. Hope in that silly human way. I'm the one who makes your dreams come true, my Host." Another day, another second, but it's not broken yet. Tragic almost. "I wasn't enough. Now he's gone. Am I really that lucky?"
1. Grey or Gray?

Black and white, on and off, the world flashes by, in the same dizzy chorus of someone else's day.

Someone else's life. That was my life.

This is my life.

Monday to Friday.

Wake up, get up, dress, eat, walk out, school, walk back, sit, eat, work, sit, sleep.

Saturday to Sunday.

Wake up, get up, dress, walk out, walk around, buy needs, walk back, eat, sleep.

And all over again on Monday.

Everyday was this way, never a difference to mind, or a thing to really see.

Some days I wished I didn't wake up.

Some days I tried not to sleep.

Break the cycle, break it all, break away.

I was broken and still breaking, so why couldn't this break?

Everything can and does break so easily. I know it does.

Everything is broken around me, but this hasn't broken just yet.

So sad. Why can't it break?

Another part of the cycle begins today and will settle back down, into monotonous days of the rest of the cycle.

The empty, but crowded plane arrives, people who weren't really there got off and went to their individual destinations.

It left and I found my way to my new, but ever familiar apartment.

The foreign, but familiar interior screamed silenced to me as the door swung open.

With only the slightest sound, I put everything back in their place, despite never having been here in the first place.

It wasn't any different from the rest.

Tomorrow would just be another Monday, another part of the cycle, another part of someone else's life.

My life.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Owns nothing. Done, end, period, word, now get off my case.<strong>

**Nah, but in all seriousness, I seriously have no idea where these ideas come from.**

**Edit: Just came back and patched little words up, mess ups like "to" to "the" etc since I finally came back to look at it after putting it up late one weekend night of doing nothing xD  
><strong>


	2. in the shadows I

He smiled and never once faltered.

It was a play and this was his stage after all.

This was the first act, the introduction. Next came the meeting. Next came the knowing.

Next came the sleeping. They slept so peacefully. So quietly. And life went on.

The world didn't even know except those watching the play, and of course, the ones in the play, but they didn't really know that either.

He walked off the stage and back into the shadows. Back into the shadows that whispered and taunted, the shadows that leered and screamed at him.

He was home after all.

Invisible to the world, the world that went on without him, play or no play.

He didn't need to smile there. No one was watching, so where was the point? No one could see him in the shadows, so they couldn't save him, no one could.

He always tried so hard to get help, but always in vain. Vaguely he wonder if he wanted to be saved, as the shadows whispered sweet nothings into his soul.

No one else could hear them after all. Just him and him alone, but he was never alone.

And the world went on without them.

It was all just a show after all. Just a pretty show for them all. And life would go on.

It always did. It always did leave him behind.

Shifting his bag, he walked out to begin the next act. He smiled and walked off, off to set up the next stage. And so it repeats itself.

It repeats. Once again, he goes back into the shadows. They welcome him now. Nothing else changes. The world just spins and spins, round and round, and life goes on and on.

Without him, without them. But the play doesn't stop.

He's never been so tired. He doesn't even know why he was tired, but at the same time, he knew why all too well.

But no matter what, the world went on, it went on and left him behind with all of them, in the shadows.

He was alone and left behind, in the shadows, but he was never alone and was always several steps ahead. Not that the world cared. It left him long ago.

It left him too far behind, stuck in the past, thrown into the future, and broken in halves that were too broken to complete the other.

Alone and in the dark, eternally bleeding for prying eyes that didn't see. They were far too blinded by the sun God's light to see who they stepped over.

He prayed and believed for so many's sakes, but never truly trusted a God's word again.

He was alone in the shadows, setting up plays and stages, in a place the world never goes back to.

Forgotten, alone, left behind, and in the dark. But he was never alone. It just didn't work out that way.

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><p><em><strong>Disclaimer: I <span>own<span> nothing, any and all rights go to their **_right_**ful **_own_**ers.**_

**Dedicated to **_Cadens Stella_** after reading another one of her works, **_Resilient_**! Made quickly, but I gave what was left of my creation of the day into this.  
><strong>

**Reviews may not make the world go round, but they give attention where it could be needed.**


	3. in the shadows II

Ever so lightly, he thumbed the dull edge of the small, silver razor blade that was just handed to him. Out of the corner of his eye he could still see the apathetic stare of the white-blonde Egyptian the Spirit had apparently allied with while he was blocked out.

Before being pushed into some kind of half-control linked with the Spirit, he was 'shown' the gist of what the Spirit and his _friend_ wanted and was told what would happen afterwards.

He wasn't sure if he should have been completely terrified, stunned, confused, but he could surely say that he was stupefied at the least.

There were just so many things missing for this to make any sense. It made absolutely no sense!

Before he could think past that to list the many wrongs in the situation, he felt his fingers curl around the blade in a more comfortable position by a command he didn't give.

At the back of his head he could hear _him_ cheering him on in a honey-sweet, mocking tone, the kind of tone one would use on a child when they were doing something good and wanted them to try again.

And with an unidentifiable twist in his gut, from both their orders his right hand slashed at his left arm, sleeve rolled up, out of reach from the red liquid now dripping from the fresh wound. Absentmindedly he told himself that it'd scar and he'd have to keep that hidden. At the fore-front of his mind he was in total shock.

_'It's because we finally agree on the Pharaoh and his brat's demise, for once, Landlord.'_ The Spirit was pleased. The insane joy was clearly unhidden in his voice and it invaded his mind even more, chilling everything it came in contact with.

Before he could even fully register that statement he felt the control he had, start slipping and the razor dug deeper in his arm. His breath would have hitched and eyes widen, if he had control of his body, that is, but the Spirit let no such thing happen, only staring boringly at his arm on the outside.

The blonde Egyptian didn't seem to notice if anything was amiss, and if he did, either he didn't care or hid it really well.

He couldn't feel the actual pain, but in his mind he painted the picture of agony and his spirit form reacted to it. He grabbed at his transparent arm, and gasped as the razor was torn out of his real arm, hitting the edges of the injury again. Falling to his knees in the black abyss that was his and the Spirit's mind, he felt the faintest caress of cold hands petting his head in satisfaction.

He never saw the Spirit outside of that one day the Spirit had first challenged the other Yuugi-kun and he was placed in the _Change of Heart_'s card, and here was the perfect chance to finally see him for what he was.

He didn't turn around. He didn't want to.

So he flinched at the touch and shut his eyes tight, but he felt the Spirit's other cold hand lightly touch his supposedly injured arm, gently, lovingly, as if he was really hurt in their empty world. Slowly the Spirit coaxed his hand away from his arm and let it drop before suddenly grabbing said arm and yanking him upright.

He stayed still and kept his eyes shut.

His pseudo-injured arm was lifted once again and he felt cold lips smirking into the surface of his so-called injury before the Spirit disappeared. How one could describe the feeling of something 'physically' vanishing when it was in your mind, or minds, but not leaving at all, is like a ghost leaving, but the other ghosts not following. Or something along those lines, now wasn't the time to let his mind wander.

He couldn't hear anything anymore and when he finally deemed it safe to open his eyes, there stood the plain and worn door to his soul room behind him. The plain mahogany standing out amid the nothingness of their link. He didn't bother going into it though. It'd be just the same as out here, the only difference would be the interior.

The replicated falseness of his once home... From back when Amane could still play and laugh in all the innocence of childhood, from back when mother could chatter about on the phone with her friends, from back when father could still come home more often with open arms waiting for them.

But the feeling would be the same. It was all engraved memories that he dared not touch upon anymore. Some things were just better left untouched.

Left untainted.

Left untainted by the Spirit of the Millennium Ring he once used to wear affectionately, by the Spirit of the unnamed King of Thieves... By his demon.

His Darkness.

Or as Yuugi-kun calls the Nameless Pharaoh's spirit of the Millennium Puzzle, his "yami."

The Darkness welcomed him as he fell to his knees once again. And he simply stayed there for an unknown amount of time, before he finally let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and moved to a better sitting position.

He didn't know when or even really notice, when the Spirit came back, but his cold and chilling presence began to make itself known. When he did notice and acknowledge he was back, he shut his eyes in a tired fear, but fear nevertheless. He felt the coldness come closer and was able to picture someone kneeling in-front of him, but without any characteristics of the Spirit himself, since he never knew what he looked like in the first place.

All he ever knew of the Spirit in that regard, was a dark, ownerless voice that hurt him and everyone around him, coming from the gold Egyptian ring he wore in terror and dread.

* * *

><p>Even though he couldn't see him, what with his eyes shut again and all, but he could practically see the Spirit tilt his head in real thoughtful consideration, even despite the fact that he still didn't know what the Spirit looked like.<p>

He was shocked to hear a warm laugh spill forth from the Spirit and he looked up into amethyst eyes, fully stunned at the sight. He instinctively tried to back away, before being pulled back by the Spirit, who was looking down at him completely happy and lovingly. It sent shivers through his entire being, but the Spirit ignored that and caressed his face with a feather like touch.

He was cold, as if he held no warmth to begin with, but of course ghosts couldn't retain the same warmth as the living could. Being dead does that to you.

He started out in a soft and ecstatic voice, once again pleased that his Light was finally agreeing with him after the so many conflicts between the two of them, just about each and every time he tried to move towards his goal.

_'If ignorance is truly bliss, than unaware you shall be! Your wish is my command, after all, dear Host.'_ It almost sickened him to hear that insane voice, the voice that now had an owner, sound so endearing and damnit all, _caring_. He swayed into the touch, and fell backwards into the ever-dark abyss's embrace as his vision faced once again, his mind screaming at him not to be tricked by the demon that tormented his life and very soul.

For once, he welcomed that dark embrace and felt the shadows jump in glee that he's finally accepted them. The Darkness suddenly turned warm and he felt like he was at home. The real home from his memories.

He fell asleep in the warm and comfy embrace of the Darkness... He fell asleep to the beautiful voices of what he could only describe as _family_ and songs so ancient and wonderful, he was left in awe. Never had Darkness looked so _Light_ and never had Darkness felt so good... He fell asleep to the comforting hugs and the most loving care he's ever felt in so long... It reminded him so much his mother holding him and Amane at night, waiting for dad, and he'd come home in the morning and embrace them, spin them around and give them foreign presents that they never once tired of...

Of the warmth of a welcoming home and family who'd never leave him. And his mind was left in a total blank for another unknown amount of time as the world went on without him, leaving him in the shadowy abyss of his own creation.

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><p>The next time he <em>felt<em> thoughts and feelings, _emotions_, coming back to him, he was in one of the most intense physical pain he's felt in a long time, stemming from his bloodied arm, stunned into unanswered confusion, and in the middle of a duel with the other Yuugi-kun...

All for reasons he couldn't quite recall or understand.

* * *

><p>Long after the Millennium Item's have been put to rest with the Pharaoh's soul, did he begin to remember bits and pieces of things he missed out on.<p>

Then one night, as he was about to get up to start the new day, he was hit by wave after wave of deeply repressed emotions he didn't know he was capable of... and memories that didn't exactly belong to him.

His conscious was flooded with things he didn't want to know or see anymore.

He felt the dim remains of absolute euphoria that he was actually free and finally knew of all the evil deeds his Darkness had done... and he felt such a caring and fearfully protective warmth from his Darkness's memories, that it left him hollow and freezing once he didn't have anything else to remember or know.

The Darkness didn't want to let go of it's Light. The Spirit didn't want to lose him. But the Spirit ended up being twisted and lured away from that need, all to bring about the destruction of Ra's favorite, the Pharaoh by the Dark God's will.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?... Curse Ra and curse the Gods that stood by and watched! He didn't deserve this. Neither he nor his Darkness.

White hot rage tore through his chest, the very same that his Darkness had experience and nurtured under the watchful gaze of the Dark God himself. Only then and then alone did he begin to think again.

If he let that rage take over... He'd just end up repeating the same mistake his Darkness had made a life time ago. That thought alone made his blood run cold. What if he took up revenge like his Darkness and had to fall and be ripped apart at the expense of the Gods again as his Darkness had to endure hardly a few years ago? As his Darkness had suffered for years upon years before the end?

Tears filled his eyes and he let the clear liquid fall in showers. He hasn't cried in years. But now he cried, although he wasn't sure of what. Shock? Fear? Rage? Lose? Despair? Realization? Hate? Love? Forgiveness? Victory? Defeat? Why he cried, he didn't know. He didn't care.

He just cried out in silence and fell back into the bittersweet embrace of the nothingness that replace his Darkness.

But he wasn't Light anymore now. No, not since he lost his own Lights... Not since he lost Amane and his mother. Not since he stopped praying to God and began blaming him, Ra, and every other God he could have thought of, for not taking another and tearing apart his life.

A tepid laugh escaped his mouth, hoarse and raspy from lack of use, and he laughed in that same feeling from before that he didn't know.

It was no wonder he was always such a mess. He wasn't balanced at all.

Both he and his Darkness were broken. It was no wonder that they couldn't get along or form a correct bond.

No, instead they formed a dysfunctional, self-killing, self-destructive, abyss of a bond that was so cold, so dark, and so _nothing_. There was no basis or form to their bond. It was just nothing. The only thing that connected them was his physical body and the Millennium Ring made of the Spirit's- of _his_ - family, friends, and all the Spirit- _he_ - ever knew.

Ra, forgive him. But why? Why had he been condemned to live life so broken and incompletely? Why had he been damned to suffer each and every life?

Why did he have to be the one to suffer for the Dark God's ways? Why had he been tortured so, because of the hatred the shadows made by the Dark God feed and give him? Why?

Smiling in that emotion he didn't know or understand, he muttered to himself and got up as if nothing happened, and went back to what was left of his life. If he didn't, life would leave him behind again, not that the God's hadn't already by now. Or maybe this was their way of giving him back true freedom and not only the simple destroying of the Ring? Maybe they wanted him to move past his Darkness's, his past self's, mistakes and start anew?

He scoffed and headed out to work after busying himself by finishing all his extra work that he normally would never bother with, and called Yuugi-kun for good measure to take his mind off things. Only when he was sure he'd have long periods of time by himself, did he allow himself to think about the sudden forced recollection.

"Ignorance is bliss... Indeed."

* * *

><p>Years later as he watches the once <em>pathetic<em> slip of a boy, grow up to become more and more like his _precious_ Yami, the formerly Nameless _Pharaoh_, Prince Atem, and take the world on by storm... did he start to feel the tendrils of undefined hatred, guilt, envy, and regret tear at his very being once again.

Oh, what he'd give to have such dark emotions sealed away in the darkest crevice of his mind once again. What he'd give to have someone else to blame such emotions on. Like how _his_ yami, his Darkness, had done for him so long ago. How he, _himself_, had done so long ago.

As reluctant as his desperate appreciation to his Darkness, he finally began to recognize himself as his own Darkness after the day he somehow managed to pick-pocketed Joey and Tristan, and not noticing until after he got home and removed his over-sized, black jacket... Which was almost the same identical copy as the trench coat the Spirit had bought around the time of the Battle City Tournament incident.

He anonymously returned what he took the same night, but he couldn't shake the guilt and fear off. Even now it still lingers, among all the other collected repressed feelings he's beaten down since, joining the already large pile of jumbled emotions he made from all his adventures with the Spirit before then.

It wasn't long after that first incident that he began noticing he had moving hands. They seemed to know how to get by every password blocker, electrical system, and just about any lock he could get his hands on, in mere seconds. Things he never tried and never knew he could do, things that belonged to the Spirits toolbox of skills, but under the glistening surface, he felt no such things as guilt, remorse, or that anything was out of place.

And along with the new set of thieving impulses, he now knew, given the right circumstances, he could have, and still can, turn out like how his Darkness had. When he looks in the mirror, he doesn't see himself as a 'Light', or as Yuugi-kun says, a 'hikari', anymore. In his eyes, he's dark grey. A disturbing grey, just shades off of black.

Pit black. Endless black. An abyss as dark and crazed, as calm and cold, as the abyss he and the Spirit's link had been forged from and around.

In the world's eyes however, he's a light grey, but he now knows there's no such thing as a perfect in-between. Sure, he didn't see the world in black and white like how he used to he, his past life as the Thief King showed him that much, but he's come to believe, and rather strongly, that everyone falls into one category more than the other.

With that in mind, he went on with what was left of his life, eventually disappearing from most of his 'normal' life back in Domino, and into the shadows of everything. The shady parts of life where he could hide away from prying eyes and stand for himself, and himself _alone_.

Sure, he still saw Yuugi-kun and the gang every once in awhile, put up a small, sweet smile, and play along with their games in contenment, he still occasionally got calls from the blonde Egyptian, Malik, every now and again when the boy was bored, but he never fully went back to _that_ life.

When he finally decided to leave it, more or less, completely, they threw him a farewell party, tied him down to promises of calling them more often, and cried in joy and sadness as they had to wave him off to his plane back to England.

He could taste the bittersweet tang of ruins there. He had no where else to go and anything he left at home was broken and long since forgotten. But with that in mind, he decided it would be the best place to be.

If he didn't remember it, who would? And where else could a creature such as he, exist?

He wasn't even sure if Yuugi-kun and the others had even heard about Kul Elna in the memory world. Did they try to find evidence of it? Did they try to put the poor souls turned shadows to rest? Did they even talk about it anymore if at all?

No, no they had not. Nothing changed for them after that, it was all just another adventure.

He, however, had went back to Egypt, followed vague memories of his past self as the unnamed Thief King and had spent days calming down and putting to rest the few wandering shadows that once plagued his nightmares. Now he couldn't believe that he thought his own family were monsters that wanted to hurt him. So much regret and guilt bloomed in his chest when he thought about it, but he rarely tried to talk himself out of it.

He rarely tried to tell himself that it wasn't entirely his fault, that he didn't know, but than another part of his mind would tell him it was. He could have asked the Spirit, he could have asked himself, he could have tried harder to understand what was going on rather than to get away from it...

A pitiful excuse of a self-loathing creature, he thought.

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><p>Walking down and away from the dank and dirty alley, away from the unconscious mess of a businessman, and into the misty and brightly lit walkways of London, he basked in a pride he would have been disgusted with years ago.<p>

And as he turned another corner and came closer to his apartment of seven months, he almost tripped and fell face-first as the ghost of his past self's voice echoed in his mind.

It held so much pride, madness, despair, and humanity... He didn't notice how stunned he was until he was kicking off his shoes in the door entrance, a habit from his stay in Japan, and throwing off his black, pocket-filled jacket, and shutting the door.

Looking at the grey-blue walls and black ceiling, specifically painted to remind him of what he loved and lost and had done, the mistakes and rights. The ceiling for his shadowy followers that resided in his Duel Monsters deck, his lost other half, and the walls for the blue-white stripped shirt he wore when he decided to be ignorant of himself. Nothing in his apartment had no meaning, he made sure of that.

Even if he might only be staying for a short time, depending on the average factors most normal people had to worry about, amongst other things he wasn't happy to admit he indulged in, he wanted it to be as homey as he could make it. It was a nice difference from the small, empty, uninviting, game-filled apartment he left in Domino.

And while he didn't have the exact pieces, he had a new Monster World RPG game board in the corner of his extra room, since he gave Yuugi-kun and his grandfather his old one as a sort of apology for everything.

A small, happy smile place itself on his lips at the memory of their surprised and elated faces, before it turned sour and tired. He walked off to the kitchen to make something to eat from the long day, leaving his place at the door entrance with the repeated words of his Darkness. Less pride, less enthusiasm, some sad reminiscence, but void of the madness and utter despair of his past self. This was the twenty-first century after all.

_"Didn't you know? I am the Darkness!"_

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><p><em><strong>Disclaimer: I <span>own<span> nothing, any and all rights go to their **_right_**ful **_own_**ers.**_

**... Yeah, random inspiration rocks. Nah, I actually got some parts of the idea from the previous chapter, so it's all good xD that's why it's called 'II'/part two, even thought the actual part two was gonna be something else, but this is cool with me!  
><strong>

**I am actually fairly happy with this, especially considering I've only made it up in like what, four hours? Well, from whenever I got home from school! I wasn't sure where to put this, but I thought 'Hey, since I've already got a Ryou/Yami Bakura story-thingy, why not add this to it?' and here we are!**

**Review if you want, but it'd be appreciated!  
><strong>


	4. found

In a single motion, the door swung open and welcomed him with a loving silence.

He shut the door, quietly praying they would leave him alone today.

A tired smile filled the empty floods of brown hued green eyes and his hand trailed along the uninteresting portrait of a grotesque monster promising a boost and further personalization to one's Duel Monster's deck. He wasn't that into the game, but it was something.

There was just a sort of pull he felt when looking at the small packages that lined the occasional store and filled shelves at the Kame Game shop. He didn't go there often though, but it was a nice sentiment for Yuugi-kun to give him one on the house.

An overly complicated and unoriginal game, but it was nice.

And the short peace he had began to lose himself in, his arms suddenly went cold and they ripped open the attempted friendship offering, and opening his eyes, he didn't even know he closed them, he saw himself beside _him_ going through the cards like he was looking for something important.

Confusion, and the always certain fear, spread across his features and his gut twisted in dread, but he said nothing as the Spirit smirked and held up one specific card.

He said nothing yet, and the confusion extended as each second passed, but the Spirit turned to him after awhile of gazing at the card admiringly, and the smirk softened into an almost smile.

The Spirit just continued stared at him, and curiosity soon overcoming his confusion and dread, but the quiet fear stayed, and he simply stared back in heavy anticipation.

The Spirit looked at him with his own face, but far more rougher and sharper, darker.

Soon the Spirit tilted his head, _his _- his, their, or was it just the Spirit's since he was but a mere host? - hair falling over his face in a white shade, equally interested curiosity slowly growing in those now dark brown-light purple irises.

A real, albeit small, and gentle smile made it's way onto the Spirits lips and his eyes softened more, but never lost that sharp and piercing quality the Spirit always had about him.

The Spirit walked up to him, they were barely separated, and lightly touched the side of his face, brushing aside transparent white locks, and held up the card innocently in-front of him.

He stared back at the beautiful, golden eyed, strong dark attributed monster cradling a broken doll. Another pull, stronger, familiar, and he obliged to the sudden and uncharacteristic impulse.

He reached out, fear dissipated for reasons unknown, not that he minded, far too overwhelmed by the odd familiarity the picture threw at him, and lightly brushed his finger tips against the magnificent card.

He basked in the warm aura it seemed to radiate at his brief touch.

He looked back up into the borrowed eyes of his Darkness and saw so many things he couldn't read or put a name to in those long seconds.

Silently the Spirit took out _his _- once again, who's? - second, but incomplete Duel Monsters deck and looked at him expectantly.

Now it was his turn to turn to tilt his head, but before that, he felt himself nod automatically without his consent, but also without the Spirit's commanding will.

The Spirit seemed to brighten up at the notion, smiling happily, without the usual insanity and madness he normally carried around himself, and gently settled the apparently cherished card at the top of the currently new unfinished deck.

He blinked and he looked down, back in his own body, and it wasn't the fact that none of it held the usual forced separation when the Spirit took control, but rather the fact of why he wasn't bothered by the whole transaction at all. It was disturbing, but he ignored it, and accepted it this time.

If it kept the Spirit happy and away from trying to destroy his life and the innocents around him, then it was alright.

Besides, he actually liked the card.

It seemed to make him feel the same kind of bubbling sensation he got whenever he looked at the _Change of Heart_ card he, and surprisingly, the Spirit, was very fond of. It was like something very much real, important, and close to him that he didn't want to lose.

And it fit in perfectly with the new deck, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

He felt a small glow of approval from the Spirit from somewhere within their link.

Maybe he didn't have to pray they left him alone today. It was nice here, for once, and he wanted to savor that rare moment in time.

So he carefully put the deck away and shuffled through the rest of the cards the Spirit had dropped onto the floor the moment he found _Dark Necrofear_.

Disappointingly, but not that surprisingly, he didn't find any other cards worth wild, or as the Spirit claimed, worthy. He put them away in a Duel Monster's tin filled with all the other extra cards neither him or the Spirit really wanted in _his _- his, the Spirit's, whoever's - deck, but still kept just in-case.

After that he went on with his regular routine, happy and content with the silence that followed him. Truly a rare moment he wanted to remember.

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><p><em><strong>Disclaimer: Owns nothing. Done.<strong>_

**Wow, two updates within only two days? Nice! and no, I have no idea where this is going, but I am liking these random little writings.**

**Review?**

**... You don't have to, just felt compelled to say something just to take up space- Like this!  
><strong>


	5. Sight

He closed his eyes and saw the same nothingness, but this was more comforting. With his eyes closed, it meant he didn't really see any of it, if only for a few precious, empty, and content, moments.

The clock _tic_s and _tok_s in the eternal rhythm of something too powerful for him to understand. And he doesn't want to understand it.

He's heard time _tic_ away for far too long to want to know it's secrets and workings anymore. This life, the last life, and probably, if he gets that chance at all, the next life.

Time _tic_s and _tok_s away, leaving him behind like all the rest. To say he's used to it would be a serious understatement. No one else knows how these things work like he does. He knows how they would all work out in the end as well.

It was inevitable no matter what he or his Darkness did.

He knew, his Darkness knew, they both knew. Knew it all from the start.

They were meant to fall and fall low, just so others could rise and rise high.

They had to not only fight against, or with in his Darkness's case, but eventually turn into that which has damned them both, this life, the last life, and certainly, if they got the chance at all, the next life.

He knew with a disturbing certainty, that he had by far the shortest life, counting them all, and it wouldn't continued onwards with the rest of the unruly souls that surrounded him.

Two short, cut off, bitterly cruel, self-destructive, and despairing lives.

The unnamed King of Thieves, the very essence of Darkness, literally and metaphorically, the Spirit of the Sennen Ring, the half-soul of the Millennium Item.

The host of the Dark Ring, the vessel of his own Darkness, and the dimming Light of what could have been, and the half-soul of a man now boy, still without a name, Ryou _Bakura_.

He didn't know what he really was, even his very material name had lost it's value, and the one-sided, but damned self-inflicted, arguments and conflicts between the two broken souls didn't connect.

None of his lives had any balance whatsoever. He knew that now. His thief self couldn't however, that part didn't really exist anymore, but that in itself was a lie. He was the thief.

With the same certainty, he knew he already had his second chance, and a third would never come.

He failed the Light, he failed the Darkness, in each short life he's had over the course of a time too ancient for him to question anymore.

Maybe, just maybe he'd be given another chance, if only as the angsty, misunderstood villian or backstabbing, bipolar, schizophrenic side character.

No, no, he'd rather not exist past this point if it all just lead to a repeat of the already two wasted lives he's had.

So he opened his eyes in contentment and walked on.

Soon he was running again, the shadows at his heels, grabbing at his legs and pulling him another way when they believe he's started to go astray.

The shadows screamed at and dragged away anyone who got too close to him.

Some things just weren't meant to be.

He almost cried out as the stigma, on his left arm and hand, burned in a memory of pain and sorrow as he ran past the forever growing graveyards.

With his eyes open, he only saw a nothingness he knew all to well. They both knew it.

They were that very abyss after all.

Him, and the newly reborn Thief inside him.

The Thief he remade in his own need for his other fallen half, the Thief Spirit he wanted back despite all his hatred and fear.

Some things just weren't meant to be.

Call him a hypocrite, he just wanted someone to hate, but he didn't want to hate anyone in the first place. So he hated himself and built the image of that hate as himself, or rather, his other self.

His Darkness.

In disgust, he was thankful for his time with his Darkness now, since he didn't have to face what he really was with his other self there. With himself there.

The shadows lead him here and there, and he did their bidding for his own amusement.

The next time he closed his eyes, he saw the same thing, and didn't feel anything from it, because it was the same as when his eyes were open.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Disclaimer: <span>Own<span>s nothing, any and all rights go to their **_right_**ful **_own_**ers.**_

***shrug* Bored writing is alright I guess... Yeah, I just have very little to say on this one. Just whatever.  
><strong>


	6. Sight II

In the few and briefest moments of peace, he looks at the world through the Millennium Ring, and simply looks about.

Not really seeing any of it with the exception of a pair of pale hands and the occasional flicker of heavenly, and still shocking, white hair at the edges of the vision.

He hardly pays attention in these moments, because even if he doesn't need sleep, he feels tired. Just so tired and his eye lids are heavy with the weight of a thousand sand storms.

Jaded eyes stare out in a trance like state for hours on end, never once glancing away.

In mock humanity, he pretends to yawn because the silence was getting too, well, silent, and his Host was getting ready to go to bed as well anyways.

On the outside he dully notes that his Host stiffens for several skip-beat seconds, before letting himself remember how to breath and he went dutifully back to work as if the Spirit hadn't done a thing.

Quietly, too quiet even for him, he let out a low, short, amused chuckle and watches in tired glee as his Host unconsciously shivered at the near inaudible sound.

As visible as your breathe in the freezing night and mist falling over bright houses in late spring, the Spirit made himself at home at the edge of his Host's bed, blue covers and white sheets.

He sees his Host stiffen once again and curl into himself, tightening his already shut eyes. But he was almost as tired as the Spirit to express the normal fear he had for his demon.

So the Spirit gives a half-smile and leans over, looking over the innocent and blinding white frame of his Host, and the tiredness retreats more and more until he is fully awake and combing his translucent fingers through soft snowy locks as Ryou fell into a dreamless sleep that night as the boy always had.

It was strange, but he couldn't help it. It was _his_ body after all.

He wasn't as egotistic as they all said and thought him to be, but he understood the need to love yourself, and he gladly agreed. His Host was just too innocent to not love.

Not in the sense of those horrid "dramas" and over exaggerated lovey-dovey, twisted ideals people in this time era had. Just that warm, understanding love, that kind of love that you knew who you were and could always forgive.

The kind of love many people in this damned time have lost.

His hand suddenly clenched into a fist, tugging sharply at Ryou's hair in his short contempt, causing the boy to stir some, but the Spirit lets go and gently shushes him back to sleep in an almost urgent tone.

Sighing into the boy's white, and just as innocent, locks, he found himself gazing into the most beautiful vessel he could ever dream of.

If Ra had a heart, he had done good this time, for he had never knew he of all people could have looked and been so innocent in all his living of thieving and killing so many millenia ago.

Ah, but of course this version of himself was naive as well. He rarely referred to his Host by name, since he himself had none, so his other half shouldn't have one either, but also because he really was but that, his Host for this life.

And within this life, this innocent and naive version of himself, had lost himself to the ideals of this worlds society, strongly guided by what they dictated was right or wrong.

He scoffed at the very thought.

While he was alive there were few such things, the only sort of _right_ or _wrong_ was either self-representative by that individual alone and by certain Gods, Goddesses, and their representatives, that which their faithful followers lived by.

Such sins in this day and age where not the same as back then, murder could have been righteous and celebrated, it could have been hateful and pain-filled, but as a whole, it was broken into those individual fractions. Now people were conformed to complete whole?

Don't make him laugh. Everyone in this age was a hypocritical, foolish, and down right, idiot for trying to fit things into such broad and uncertain categories while proclaiming to uphold such sacred acts with their tomfoolery and bastardizing anything with their grubby half-assed promises.

He gave a sharp growl at that and watched his Host squirm slightly in his sleep.

_This_ useless version of himself got caught up in all that utter shit as well.

And the boy wondered why the Spirit never let him indulge in any of that pure intolerable bull?

The urge to sigh again itched his throat, but he only let out another deep growl, effectively fighting back the annoying feeling for the time being, very aware of the shudder his Host gave at the dark sounding.

He admitted he didn't like this part of himself very much. He almost hated this part. But it was himself, so he forgave the most of it and settled for simply taking matters into his own hands.

He tried to show this version what the world was really like and tried to keep him from falling into this societies inky grasp, but alias, even he knew he was stubborn more than all the Hell's to exist combined, and unfortunately, this version of himself shared that quality with just as much, if not more, vigor.

So he tried to quell his growing dislike for this version, all the while protecting the boy from evil intentions that tried to take his goal away and trying to make the boy's life more fulfilling despite the boy's annoying protests.

As time went by without him noticing, he gave a hearty chuckle when Ryou woke up, but still refused to open his eyes, very much aware of the Spirit looming over him.

He slipped back into the Ring and repeated the deed of yesterday, watching the new world through tired and jaded eyes, occasionally amusing himself by making his Host feel fear.

Through jaded eyes he didn't see much of anything, with the exception of his Host's actions and the more ill-intended gestures from those foolish mortals that flooded this decaying world.

He couldn't wait, but he learned patience, virtue or not. He waited and watched through tired and jaded eyes through the Millennium Ring, and watched over his Host silently through the shadows.

Through jaded eyes he looked at the world during the few and far in-between moments of peace.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Disclaimer: I <span>own<span> nothing, any and all rights go to their **_right_**ful **_own_**ers.**_

**Blah, this kind of relationship isn't what I really pictured for Ryou and the Spirit or the Thief King, but I suppose it's working alright for now... I'mma try and keep this alive, for the most part at least.**

**Some inspirational credit goes to the song **American Trash** by **Innerpartysystem**(IPS) and boredom as per the usual~  
><strong>

**Flames and constructive criticism aren't minded, maybe even encouraged, but the review would still be appreciated.  
><strong>


	7. Replay

_There was nothing left to say._

_But he had a fire in his eyes that I've never seen before._

_Really, what was I expecting in the first place by coming here?  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Do we deserve it?" At this point I shut my eyes and simply said nothing. There was nothing left to say on the subject matter at hand.<p>

And the rest shall remain unspoken. Without a voice. That's how its always been.

How it always will be.

I ignored the stagnate gaze that bore a hole through my entire soul, what was left of it, and stayed quiet.

Jealousy, guilt, and other such dark thoughts plagued my nightmares still. He probably had it just as bad, if not worse.

When I looked back up with an intent to stay silent, I had nothing to say anymore, but the words left my mouth before I could give them another thought.

"And do we want it?" _A second chance_. A fresh, clean slate. A better start, better life. A new _hope_.

I stared back, eyes narrowed in slight confusion, before giving a half shrug and turned to the window.

I watched the cars speed past and beyond, the world oblivious to the conversation, if you could call it one with the major word lacking responses, that just took place. And the world went on without a care, without a sense of caring at all. It just went on by without us all.

Minutes passed, seconds clocked away and lost. Seconds _gone forever_.

The side of my mouth twitched a little, and a small smile graced my lips. I haven't smiled that much in quite awhile.

And on that note, his smile at my little remark of stupidity, definitely caught me off guard.

His smile was small, sad, and grateful, and it held so many unspoken meanings that I never really did know what to really think of it. Not even after that.

A tiny gasped fell through my pursed lips and I turned back to him, a cascade of white temporary blocking my view.

He was laughing. It was quiet, but light and airy. A laugh too sweet to be of real happiness. I could almost see the bitter despair he normally kept deep inside, locked up in golden chains and engraved with the the scars of a fallen leader.

So deeply imbedded that he didn't always know about it, busily going through each day one at a time, savoring every individual thing he could.

Deeper than me who would freely cry in the rain should the chance arise, spent his extra time remembering days full of laughter, and daydreaming of things not meant to be.

After getting over his little outburst, he stood up and set his half of the bill on the grey, circular table. I followed his example and payed my fair share.

We left as we came, shoulder-to-shoulder, and without a single word uttered.

We stood outside the overlooked cafe, thinking our own thoughts.

Finally he broke off and started to walk away before suddenly stopping. He turned back around to me and held out his hand.

Unlike the boy of not-so-many months ago, he no longer donned any gold eye-catching jewelry except two silver dangle earrings in the shape of diamonds, hanging by small black chains. The most he had on his wrists were simple string bracelets.

He spoke quietly, as if unsure about speaking at all, but his eyes said otherwise.

"Names Malik Ishtar, nice to meet you!" He gave a cocky smirk and waited.

His eyes were lit up like pale violet embers sparking back to life and there was no more doubt in my mind.

I stepped forward and took his hand with a firm and casual grip, grinned and spoke in an equally unsure, but certain voice.

"Ryou Bakura, pleasure to be of acquaintance." It felt just so raw to even say my own name these days, but it could have never felt as right as it did now.

We left the already forgotten street with the overlooked cafe, backs to each other, no longer caring about the world.

Through the crowd and noise, I could still here our questions ringing in the air around me. But we already knew the answer before he called for our little meeting.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Disclaimer: I <span>own<span> nothing, any and all rights go to their **_right_**ful **_own_**ers.**_

**I really should be doing school work... but these little ideas of randomness should be put down! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.**

**I'm just going to put this up before I regret it and do something to it xD**

**Review if you can? Pwease?  
><strong>


	8. Daring, so try it!

Can't you hear me? I said it's over! Over and dead. Dead and gone. Get it?

_Do you_ get it? Are you even listening to me? Fine then, be that way. It won't do you any good.

No good at all!

You think I'm kidding? Don't make me laugh. This isn't a game, you insolent child. No. This is far worse. This is real.

Do you even know what that means? No, I don't think so. From the way your still staring, I could just tell you aren't listening. You never do.

.

Stupid, stupid child! Stop struggling! Now look at what you've done... What did you do? Huh? Speak up! Don't give me that look.

I know what you did. Hey! Don't _run away_! **Don't yo****u dare** run away from this! Don't you dare run away from me... I won't let you!

.

... Come back... Please... _come back_... stay... Please don't leave me!

Don't. Please don't. Don't leave me here.

Don't leave me here alone.

I _need_ you. I won't do it again. You understand, right? You'll take me back, right?... Right?

I promise I'll be good. I'll do whatever you want.

_Whatever you want!_

You are my Light. My hope, my life. You belong to me...

You belong to me, so I have to take care of you!

I have to keep you happy, so you'll be satisfied with this, right? I won't do anything **like this** ever again. You can trust me.

I'm the only one you can truly trust. I am you, so you don't have to worry! I'll take care of everything.

I'll protect you. I will.

No one else.

If I don't, who will?

No one, that's who!

They tell you lies, don't believe them! You know nothing, so what do you know about any of this?

Do I have to do everything for you? Answer me.

Fine, struggle all you will. You won't get anything out of it.

.

It won't make any difference to me, but just don't hurt yourself. Okay? Hmm, I'll take that as a "Yes."

Just don't hurt _yourself_ and it'll all be fine. What? What's with that look now?

Not satisfied with this? Then you should have been more specific.

You should have known, but you couldn't have. You're nothing more than a child, the child you really are, to me.

A innocent, naive child with no knowledge of the real world. Don't you see?

I'm trying to help you! You have no say in this, so you better not try and talk back to me.

Whether you like it or not, doesn't matter much, you belong to me.

I'll take care of you, protect you, make your dreams come true, show you the world, so shut up and stay quiet, dear one.

.

Foolish child.

When will you learn? If you had listened to me from the start, this wouldn't have happened.

My fault? How is _this_ my fault? If **he** didn't show up and mess with my plans, none of this would have happened.

Don't try to blame any of this on me! Who do you think you're talking to? I'll show you then.

Show you and **him** both. Who - _what_ - I am, but _you should have known_.

We're the same in the end. Don't deny it. Don't you dare deny it!

Say it! Tell me! We are the same, I know!...

Hehe... AHAHAH! Of course you wouldn't say it! You're the so-called Lighter half, but you're nothing without me!

You just don't want to hear it. _You_ never want to hear it.

_**I** _never wanted to hear it, but things just don't work out that way for... us.

So tough luck trying to ignore it!

I know, oh, I know, so don't deny it. Don't you dare.

Don't you ever dare.

Look at me. Look me in the eye. Ahahahaha, see?

Was that so bad? We're still here and the world didn't stop

Not for us. Never for us. Ra forbid the world would wait for us.

Because you know what we are. So **don't deny** it!

I'm doing you a favor!

Don't give me that look. Don't look at me like that.

.

This isn't my fault, remember? It's not our fault, so don't worry!

Don't worry about a thing and it'll all work out. I'll take care of everything, trust me.

I would never lie to you. Never you.

So trust me with this. I will keep my word and then you'll be happy.

Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?

You'll be satisfied with this, right?

Then get out of my sight and let me finish my plans!

I said get out!

.

Just be a good little Light and go to sleep. Go to sleep and it'll be alright when you wake up.

So sleep, little one. Sleep now... it'll be alright.

Trust me. I'd never lie to _you_.

Sleep and all your dreams will come true... All _our_ wishes will become reality.

So sleep now, dear little one...

I won't let anyone harm you, not ever.

I'll protect you.

I will.

I promise.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Disclaimer: I <span>own<span> nothing, any and all rights go to their **_right_**ful **_own_**ers.**_

**... Wow. I'm actually... Not sure what to say about this one. I was bored in class again, you can't blame me for the random inspiration! I did my work after writing it done, so it's cool! xD**

**Ahh, no, this is just my sort-of-attempt at second person with some possessive tendencies.**

**Not all sure whose perspective this is supposed to be, but it wouldn't be bad to think of it as Yami Bakura's...**

**I seriously hear his voice in my head when reading it.**

**Review?**


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